Friday, March 13, 2009

Chapter Four

This chapter is shorter than I would've liked, but...




Chapter Four






“You'll be fine,” Jane assured me as we stood outside Mimi's counseling room. Being a “special case”, Jane felt the need to escort me to my first session personally. Was she afraid that I might try to commit suicide again, between my room and Mimi's? I honestly never wanted to go through what I had tried to do just hours before. Even so, I still needed someone to talk to, and hopefully Mimi would help.

“Okay. It's just that I've never really had therapy before, so I'm a little nervous,” I admitted to my current care-taker.

“Honey, don't think of it as therapy, just someone there to listen to every single word you have to say. Therapy is something you don't have a choice in, but this is something that you are doing for you and because of you.” Jane smiled down at me, ands knocked on the door.

The door was quickly opened by an elderly woman who must've been around 65 years old. “Come in,” she said with a smiling, showing her crooked teeth. She looked exactly what you'd expected the stereotypical witch to look like, and yet she looked to friendly and lovingly to me.

I walked into the room to see a very organized office with a sleeping area off to the side. There was a matching blue couch and arm chair, a beautiful wooden coffee table, and a smooth dark brown desk. It wasn't the bright couch or chair that was most memorable, or the beautifully carved desk or table. In the very back of the room, there was a rather large dart board. It had many holes in it from what I could only assume was darts. There were too many to count. Mimi noticed me looking at her dart board and said, “Do you wanna try?”

“Try what?” I said, pretending to be oblivious to what she was talking about.

“Darts, of course. I have that in here for a special reason, actually.” Her words came out softly and smoothly, and would be able to put anyone in a trance. “You try to hit the hard times in your life with darts. The darts hold them down, keep it all under control. It's to remind you that you can hold back from doing the things to ruin your life, just don't let those things get to you.”

I listened carefully to the wise words my counselor was telling me. “Thinking about it that way... It complicates it all for sure, but it makes me realize that I could help myself. I really don't need anyone but myself!” I was proud to have understood what she had just told me, and was smirking on the inside.

“Exactly, Karin!” she said to me, calling me by my new name. “It takes quite some time for most people to figure that one out. You're pretty bright.” she gave me another smile, this time not showing her odd teeth.

I was walking toward the dart board, and on my way I found a basket on the coffee table filled with darts. I picked one up, and faced the holey board. I threw it with ease, and it landed very near the the center.

“The closer it lands to the center, the more set you are on facing your problems instead of running away. That's very good.” I grinned upon hearing these words. I couldn't deny that Mimi had a special way with people. No matter what she said, the grace that she had in her and shared with anyone around could make you smile.

Not knowing what to do or say next, I blurted out, “Am I supposed to talk about my problems with you now?” Jane had told me that this was completely by choice, so if I wanted to walk out right now I could. The strange this is that I didn't want to at all. I wanted to stay in her graceful presence, and possibly have some of it rub off on me.

“If that's what you'd like to do, then yes.” She sat down in the blue armchair, crossing her legs.

“Here goes... My parents died less than a week ago. I was at my father's bedside when he died, but I was asleep. I never even got to really say goodbye. Yesterday, everything was all coming back to me, and I wanted nothing more than to be with my dad and mom.” I sighed, happy to finally be talking to someone about everything.

“How did you end up here?” she asked, now acting more serious. Mimi was no longer acting like my friend, but like someone who was responsible for me. Trying to take care of me, make sure I'm safe.

“I assume I got here the same way as everyone else in this place.” I paused. “I ran away from home. After my parents died, I was to live with my grandpa. He was emotionless, and didn't even care about me or my parents' death. I couldn't live with it anymore, so I just left.”

“I'd been walking wherever my feet would take me for about 9 hours. I fell asleep around 10 PM on a bus bench. I was woken up some hours later by Jimmy, who took me here.” I cringed as I remember the confusion going through my head as I walked along the dark streets with Jimmy.

“Well, that's an interesting story. Everyone here has a different reason for being here, and it seems like your's is the harshest,” Mimi said to me sympathetically. “Well, we gotta save some stuff for our next session, assuming you'll want to some again. Let's say goodbye for now.” She gave me a kind smile as she led me toward the door out of her office/room.

“Okay.... Until next time!” I said cheerily, exiting the odd room.

Thinking back to the events that had just happened, I remembered what Mimi told me about the darts. I kept whispering to myself, hold the bad stuff down, way down.

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